An Ol' Broad's Ramblings
Archive for 25 October 2007
“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”
Translated: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”
“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR”
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
“I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.”
Translated: “That girl standing on the corner is a real babe.”
“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.”
Translated: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.”
Translated: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”
“OH, DON’T FUSS – I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”
Translated: “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.”
“I CAN’T FIND IT.”
Translated: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”
“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Translated: “What did you catch me at?”
“I HEARD YOU.”
Translated: “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me.”
“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
Translated: “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”
“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”
Translated: “Oh, God, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”
“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”
Translated: “No one will ever see us alive again.”
H/T: Brat via email
College liberals are in a fit of pique because various speakers are coming to their campuses this week as part of David Horowitz’s Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week — not to be confused with Islamo-Fascism Appreciation Week, which I believe is in April.
Apparently liberals support Islamo-fascism. The Democratic leadership might want to have a powwow with their base because I believe their public position is to pretend to oppose Islamic fascism.
Elected Democrats at least make empty rhetorical gestures about opposing Islamic fascism. Of course, amidst their nonspecific condemnations of Islamic terrorism, they make very specific demands that we genuflect before Islam and perform exotic fetishes on the fascists.
Liberals believe in burning the American flag, urinating on crucifixes, and passing out birth control pills to 11-year-olds without telling their parents — but God forbid an infidel touch a Quran at Guantanamo.
College campuses across the nation are installing foot baths to accommodate Muslims’ daily bathing ritual, while surgically removing the Ten Commandments from every public space in America. Maybe the Ten Commandments could be printed on towels and kept next to the foot baths.
The National Council for Social Studies recommended a lesson plan after 9/11 that included a story titled “My Name Is Osama” about a nasty little white boy, “Todd,” who taunts a fine upstanding Iraqi immigrant named “Osama.” Go ahead, laugh it up — we’ll see who’s laughing when “My Name Is Osama” ends up on ABC’s prime-time lineup next year.
This story was proposed in response to an event in which Muslims with names like “Osama” committed the most massive hate crime in U.S. history against 3,000 innocent civilians with names like “Todd.”
For some reason, I could not get my blog to come up this morning.Â grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrÂ I did get to read a few entries from other blogs while I was having a nervous breakdown.Â I’ve come to the conclusion there are some really odd people in this world.Â But then, you already knew that, didn’t you.
Now that it’s back, I’ve got to hit the road.Â Well, not in my usual sense.Â Just heading down to MS to see the doc.Â Hopefully, he’ll have some good news.Â