An Ol' Broad's Ramblings
Archive for 21 December 2008
I was met with, ‘Hi! I’m Belinda!’
This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, ‘All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?’
I’m thinking, ‘Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.’
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, ‘Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?’
‘Fine’, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?
My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt, a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!
‘Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.’ Belinda headed for the door.
‘Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vise alone are you?’ I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, ‘Oh, you fussy puppy…the door’s wide open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be right back.’
Before I could shout ‘NOOOO!’ she disappeared.
And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite ‘Hi, how’s it going’ type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible ‘Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.’
‘You bet, take care’ Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, ‘Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?’
‘And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps!’
Today was the annual Brat and Bat (aka me) Christmas, over eat lunch, at the Cheesecake Factory, prior to the ritual over spending for presents. It’s official. I’m now a beef snob! Normally, I wouldn’t even consider paying $13 for a bloomin’ hamburger, but hey, it was the OUR lunch time, and I thought, what the heck, we only do this once a year, so why not! I tried a Kobe burger. Dayyuum! It was worth every single dime!!! Sad to say. I’ve never been able to finish anything I get at that restaurant. I made an exception this year!
Then, it was time to brave the crowds. Yep! There were CROWDS! Recession? What freakin’ recession!! No one told the 90 million people we had to battle through to get from point A to point B! I’d really like to know how I managed to end up buying stuff I had NO intention of getting? “Oh, Short Person would really like this!” Uh huh. sigh…. Didn’t I say I wasn’t buying gifts this year? I know I said it! And mostly, I’ve stuck to it. More or less. Ok, I’m a sucker! And Brat is a manipulative turd!
The Mr and Ick stayed safely in front of the big screen watching football. Smart move!
Literally! I have no coffee! Yes, it’s annoying, but I can survive. What has been the major issue is my internet connection. I’m thinking Dallas doesn’t much care for the cold. Well, what’s considered cold here….about 30 degrees. I’m debating on whether or not I’m even gonna wear a coat. Mainly to annoy my daughter. heh.
So, as you can tell, I haven’t posted my usual tidbits of the morning headlines. Oh, I started it alright. I just couldn’t get anything to work. I rebooted 4 times before I finally decided…..I gotta go shopping!
Maybe, if we get back at a reasonable time, and I’m not catatonic, I’ll peruse the ‘papers’ and put something together.
Sharon Hurst Duross said her family spends every Dec. 21 burying her brother.
It’s a grim anniversary and Sunday marks the 20th year since Mark Hurst, 38, and 269 other people were killed when a bomb hidden aboard Pan Am flight 103 exploded over Lockerbie, Scotland. Mr. Hurst was one of 180 Americans killed, making it the largest terrorist attack against the U.S. until nearly 3,000 people were killed Sept. 11, 2001.
“It builds a cold, cold part inside of your body that wasn’t there before,” Ms. Duross said. “Our lives are never the same.”
Even as much of the world has begun measuring distance from the attack in decades, it’s far from over for those involved.
I’d just like to remind people….just because something like this hasn’t happened in 7 years, it does not mean it can’t, and won’t. They still hate us. They still want to see us ALL dead. I pray none of us will ever have to know the pain of those who lost loved ones to murderous pigs through their terrorist tactics.
21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
The evening started out pleasant enough. The limo was there to pick us up, right on time. Problem was, not everyone was there yet. Come to find out, one of the people failed to inform his lady friend that the time had changed, so we had to wait around for her and her little one to get there. Honestly, to me it wasn’t an issue. The way I figured it, we’d be doing a WHOLE lot of waiting in the near future, as in sitting in traffic, so what’s the big deal.
Once all were safely seated on the slut mobile, cocktails were in order. Guess who got to play bartender!
Ol’ Ick did the honors!
Frank, fixed his own. Straight from the brewery!
Short person was on the pole, but sat down too fast. Dang!
Although Ick did check it’s sturdiness. Seemed to be in working order. I missed Frank’s performance though. Thankfully! Heh.
Ick and Brat snuggling. Ain’t that cute?
All was going well and we had plenty of time to get to the stadium by kick off. Well, we THOUGHT so at any rate. Yes, traffic was ridiculous, but still we had one of those big things that get to pull into the special parking lot, so we get dropped off right at the appropriate gate. Evidently, the Irving Police department, sphincters….one and all, did NOT get the memo! They kept directing the driver to turn left.