An Ol' Broad's Ramblings
Welcome to the ObamaCare Medical Emergency Help Line!
For Espanol, press 1.
For Urdu, press 2 .
For Arabic, press 3 .
For Farsi, press 4 .
For Hmong, press 5 .
For all other languages, press 6 .
6
Thank you!
Did you press 6?
If yes, press 1.
If no, press 2.
1
Thank you.
To speed processing of your call, please key
in your 9-digit social security number, whether
it was illegally obtained or not.
5 5 5 4 4 3 3 3 3
Thank you.
Did you enter five five five four four three three three three?
If yes, press 7, if no, press 3.
7
Thank you.
Please enter the nature of your ailment, condition or problem.
For Achondroplasia, press 1-0-0-0.
For Acne, press 1-0-0-1.
For Acrodysostosis, press 1-0-0-2.
For Acromegaly, press 1-0-0-3.
For Adenoids, press 1-0-0-4.
For Adrenoleukodystrophy, press 1-0-0-5.
For Age-related macular degeneration, press 1-0-0-6.
For Agoraphobia, press 1-0-0-7.
For Albinism, press 1-0-0-8.
For AIDS, press 1-0-0-8.
For Alcohol poisoning, press 1-0-0-9.
For Alpha-1-antitrypsin deficiency, press 1-0-1-0.
For Alport syndrome, press 1-0-1-1.
For Altitude sickness, press 1-0-1-2.
For Alzheimer’s disease, press 1-0-1-3.
For Amyloidosis, press 1-0-1-4.
For Anemia, press 1-0-1-5.
*
Thank you.
To enter the nature of your ailment, condition or problem
by name, use the touch-tone keypad to spell the name,
then press the pound sign.
4 (h) … 3 (e) … 2 (a) … 7 (r) … 8 (t)
2 (a) … 8 (t) … 8 (t) … 2 (a) … 2 (c) … 5 (k) … #
Did you select HEART ATTACK?
If yes, press 2, if no, press 9.
2
On a scale of 1 to 9, with 9 being excruciating pain,
how much pain are you in?
9
Enter your age, followed by the pound sign.
74 #
I’m sorry, the maximum age of treatment for this condition,
as determined by Federal Coordinating Council for
Comparative Effectiveness Research is Seventy-three.
Thank you for calling.
Good-bye.
72 # … 72 # … 72 #
*** Click ***
[Call recording terminated]
Shared by brother in law Tom.
