An Ol' Broad's Ramblings
It’s Personal
TN is 5th in U.S. in murders of women by men
The day after he was released from jail for attacking his girlfriend, Michael D. Williams returned to the woman’s apartment to finish the job. He confronted Shellie Hernandez and shot her in the head.
Hernandez, 30, was but one of dozens of women murdered by men in Tennessee in 2008. And the mounting deaths help put Tennessee fifth in the nation in the rate of women murdered by men, according to a new study by the Washington, D.C.,-based Violence Policy Center.
“I think the system failed her,” said Hernandez’s sister-in-law, Diomarys Moran. “This shouldn’t have happened.”
Tennessee has consistently ranked high in the center’s studies over the last decade. Using FBI homicide statistics, the group over the last 11 years has ranked Tennessee in the Top 10 nine times and the Top 5 four times.
Many will ask…”Why doesn’t a woman just leave?” As a woman, I will ask….”Have you ever been in such a situation?” If not, then don’t judge. Many women know what I’m talking about, and it’s not a matter of weakness on the woman’s part.
“You have fewer resources available for women and also you have more households with higher rates of gun ownership,” said Kristen Rand, legislative director for the Violence Policy Center. “Guns in the home where there’s any history of abuse increase the risk that abuse will rise to homicide.”
It doesn’t matter if there is a gun in the house. If the man is going to murder, he is going to murder. There is something wrong with HIM, not the gun.
The report disturbed law enforcement and advocacy groups who say the state’s ranking is unacceptably high.
I can’t swear to how Tennessee handles domestic issues, but I can tell you from experience, there are areas in both Texas and California where they don’t take domestic violence very seriously. At least they didn’t in the 90s. I sincerely pray they have come into the 21st century by now. At that time, it was quite common for the woman to be blamed by the police.
Tennessee’s rate of women murdered by men has risen steadily since 2004, from 1.78 women killed for every 100,000 resident to 1.97 in 2008. The report found that 95 percent of the women were killed by someone they knew.
These numbers are TOTALLY unacceptable. Education should begin at home. Sadly, many young boys see their fathers abuse their mothers, and it becomes a learned behavior. It’s also apparent that many young girls have been taught, by example, that it’s ok for their boyfriend/spouse to hit them. It becomes an ugly cycle. Unfortunately, manipulative males also have the ability to convince the girl/woman that he wouldn’t hit her if she didn’t make him mad. It’s her fault she has a black eye, split lip, or a broken arm.
Advocates sometimes hear criticism of women who don’t leave their abusers. But many don’t have easy alternatives that allow them to leave.
“To leave a situation where you have little children, you’ve got to find a place to live, get a job, day care,” said Dr. Carol Harp, a police psychologist and crisis counseling supervisor at Metro Police’s Domestic Violence Division.
“It’s practically impossible. There’s a list of challenges for them. It’s just very hard,” Harp said.
I won’t deny there are some women who could leave, but won’t for whatever reason they have cooked up in their heads. “He’s really sorry, I won’t make it without him.” I’ve also heard the argument that they stay for the sake of the children. In my opinion, the children are the biggest reason they should get out while they are alive to do so.
Walsh said that new laws went into place last year that ban domestic abusers and people under orders of protection from having handguns. She hopes the law will help improve the ranking for the 2009 murders.
All the laws on the books will not stop an animal from murder. They can forbid the slime ball from owning a gun, but do criminals really care about the law? Also, depending on the government to provide a safe haven for a woman and her children shouldn’t fall fully to the government, on any level. It is OUR responsibility to care for our sisters. If there is a shelter in your area, donate money, clothes, furniture, etc. If you have a property that could be used to shelter women and children, use it for such a purpose. Give from your heart to the women who need you the most.
Anyone seeking help from an abusive situation can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for 24-hour help at 1-800-799-SAFE.
No one who beats on a woman is a man, I don’t care what’s dangling between the legs!
Been there, done that, escaped in one piece. Unless one has been in that situation, they shouldn’t judge. It’s not a matter of “intelligence” or “strength”…not by a long shot.
While domestic violence laws ARE being strengthened, there are still some who just don’t take it seriously and blame the woman for staying. That’s just wrong.