An Ol' Broad's Ramblings

The New Senator From Wisconsin (Guest Commentary)

7 November 2012, 12:04 pm. Comments Off. Filed under Opinion.

Election 2012: Tommy VS Tammy
from The Bunker

Election 2012…. what a nail biter!  I cleaned mine off clear down to the first knuckle. That was on my left hand. Thank God, because my trigger finger is on the right.

I voted for Mitt Romney and fellow Wisconsinite Paul Ryan. They lost. I also voted for good-ole Tommy Thompson, former Governor of Wisconsin. He lost. Good-ole Tommy didn’t just lose to any ole cheese head, nope, he lost to a real lunatic, Tammy Baldwin. For those of you not from the Badger state let me enlighten you about Tammy Baldwin.

First, let me tell you something about a Badger. The Badger is a ferocious little critter that kind of looks like a skunk but will tear your knee caps off if you don’t agree with his political views. Us Badgers voted for our current Governor Scott Walker, twice! The phony Badgers, the ones who look and smell more like skunks, voted for Tammy Baldwin. It’s hard to explain in words how radical Tammy Baldwin is. I think an analogy might work.

Imagine Tammy Baldwin as a Greek Goddess, she’s not really that hot but this is just an analogy, OK? Goddess Tam would spend her days gazing down at her disgusting subjects drinking Starbucks coffee and spitting out granola seeds. When she got bored she would climb into her Chevy volt and cruise to the far side of Mount Olympus to wreak havoc on anyone who didn’t worship her. Solar powered lightning bolts would shoot from her fingers destroying “Don’t Tread on Me” flags and gun shops. She would conjure up global warming super tornadoes to destroy the dwellings of Right to Lifer’s and suck all the money from their wallets to fund the Greek version of planned parenthood. I am sure that after such a hard day of ruling Goddess Tam would be exhausted. A little rest and relaxation on the Isle of Lesbos would be in order, yeah our Goddess Tam swings in that direction. Maybe she could hook up with the Goddess of Homeland Security?

Well America, that’s the best I can do to give you a little green and gold (Go Pack!) perspective on Wisconsin’s next Senator, Tammy Baldwin. But hey, look on the bright side it’s only for six, miserable, disgusting years. I guess all the real Badgers dug in early for the long winter ahead.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Comments are closed.