An Ol' Broad's Ramblings
Archive for Critters
Comment Left On My Facebook Status
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they “lick” themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).
Cats, like their nemesis, the dog …. do get dirty and have a … See More variety of odors… from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog’s breath. (Remember… your dog will try to eat anything.)
Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question. So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.
Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you …. you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.
1. First …. dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welder’s gloves.
2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.
3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area beforehand. No … blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.
4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.
5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire… the cat barely notices you anyway.
6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom …. speed is essential. In one single liquid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he’s madder than a wet hornet.
7. As best, you can, wearing welder’s gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.
8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slides down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.
9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.
10. Next, the cat must be dried. No…this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat, reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.
11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.
12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door …. put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.
13. In about 2 hours …. it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.
Thanks Ryan. 
I needed that!
Proof Of Residency
Savannah Spay/Neuter Voucher Program Will End Monday
The City of Savannah’s Control Animal Population (CAP) program will end effective June 7, 2010, announced Animal Services Director Charlie Nickle. The spay/neuter program began on April 6, 2009 and since that time 484 spay/neuter vouchers have been issued to City of Savannah residents.
The collaborative partnership with Horse Creek Wildlife Sanctuary and Animal Refuge, a privately funded organization, and the City of Savannah has been an effective program in offering the services to Savannah residents. During these hard economic times the program has helped numerous residents who would have otherwise been unable to spay or neuter their dogs and aid in reducing the animal population.
Now, I’ll admit, there is a need to have such a program around here, but I don’t suppose anyone has noticed the increased cat population, have they. 
And they keep turning up on OUR porch! But the fact they are ending one program, for dogs, and starting another, for dogs, isn’t why I’m posting this, although, it is important info for local folks. No….THIS (with my emphasis added) is the part I’d like to point out:
The City of Savannah program has ended as a result of the recent announcement by Hardin County Government beginning a Canine spay/neuter program open to ALL residents of Hardin County on Friday, June 4, 2010 and each Friday thereafter. Hardin County has advertised that residents should respond to the Hardin County Courthouse, Main Floor, Hardin County Fire Dept. between 12 p.m. noon till 4:00 p.m. Residents must provide a photo ID, proof of County Residency (Driver License, Voter Registration Card, recent utility bill or other acceptable ID) and proof of current rabies immunizations. Residents should call 731-925-9078 if further information is needed.
Hello?!?!?! If people wanting to get their dogs spayed/neutered have to provide PROOF of legal residency, is it really such a stretch to ask for proof of LEGAL residency, on a national level, for even more important things, like say….oh….I dunno……VOTING? Just sayin’!
Oh, and for the love of pete, get your critters FIXED, canine AND feline! Jeeeeez!
HELP!
Just what we needed….MORE cats! sigh….
There were 3 the last time I looked. sigh….
You’ll be happy to know, I put the bigger (4/20/10) kittens in a different box. What the heck are we going to do with all these cats? Hey….SOMEONE out there has to want a cute little kitty, right? Chris???
Another Bill The Leftists Haven’t Read?
Probably. If they had, perhaps, they wouldn’t have their knickers in a twist, shouting racist. I seriously doubt that D’Bama had read it either before spouting off, in his usual ignorant way.
So, as a public service, I am linking the bill here:
The legislature finds that there is a compelling interest in the cooperative enforcement of federal immigration laws throughout all of Arizona. The legislature declares that the intent of this act is to make attrition through enforcement the public policy of all state and local government agencies in Arizona. The provisions of this act are intended to work together to discourage and deter the unlawful entry and presence of aliens and economic activity by persons unlawfully present in the United States.
Now, go read the rest of it. It’s only 17 pages long, as opposed to the thousands of pages the lefties and their ‘leader’ haven’t read yet either.
And Then There Were 3
I went out to give the mama cat some food, and found that one of the kittens is now gone. The little gray and white one isn’t there anymore. It was there this morning when I looked in on them. Ok, looked out the living room window, but you know what I mean. Now, just a few hours later… gone. 
I guess maybe it wasn’t as healthy as it looked? I don’t know. I looked around to see if she had stashed it somewhere close by, but saw no sign. sigh…
I know. I didn’t want them on the porch in the first place, but still.
Yeah….They’re Cute…..
…..now make them go away!
Banging…..Head….Against….Brick….Wall!!
It’s no secret I love animals, especially cats. It’s no secret the Mr LOVES me. That’s how we ended up with four cats in the house, and a variety of come and go kitties that live on the porch. We’ve had 3 out there for quite a while. Mama, Snoops, her son, and Felix. I guess someone forgot to tell Mama that kids are real expensive, and to pace herself. She’s a rather small cat, so you’d think I’d have noticed she was BULGING before a week ago. I thought maybe I had some time to take her to the vet’s and, hopefully, find her a good home, one with a barn and lots of mice or some such.
I took their usual grub out for them, and thought I saw Felix’s leg in the bed. I walked over and imagine my surprise when what I thought was a leg, was an entire critter. FOUR OF THEM!
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO MORE CATS!!!! We can’t! Just CAN’T!
Evening Critters
I was outside making sure the moochers (porch cats) were fed and watered, when I looked up and saw a pair of eyes looking back at me from on top of the squirrel proof bird feeder. It took me a few seconds to realize it was a young raccoon. Are squirrel proof bird feeders raccoon proof? After we sized each other up, and decided neither of us was going to cause trouble for the other, he went back to trying to get into the feeder. I don’t think he was having a lot of luck. Glancing down, I noticed another pair of eyes peeking from around the side of the tree. Evidently, I didn’t seem all that threatening, and probably wouldn’t be making a meal out of him either. I’m too big for him to eat, so that wasn’t an issue. These guys looked to be fairly young….teenagers so to speak.
I did my best to get a picture of them, but since I don’t have one of those fancy schmancy cameras, like Serr8d has, they turned out like crap. Oh well. I don’t think the Mr is going to go out and buy one of them new fangled picher shooters, do you?
They sure do have some seriously reflective eyes! Kind of creepy.
They Grow Up So Fast
Little bitty Rowdy 
Not so little bitty Rowdy 
Nothing worse than trying to brush your teeth, and someone takes up residence in the sink, as did Rowdy this morning.
Don’t Ask!
But, honestly, there really IS a REAL good reason why there is a pink petticoat in the middle of my living room. And maybe, if y’all are real nice, I’ll share that reason….after it’s all over! Heh. Gotta tell ya, the sound of kitties crunching on this stuff is extremely annoying!
That’s One Weird Looking Cat!
Birdies
This morning, I was looking out the window, watching the birds at the feeder, and saw two of the biggest red headed woodpeckers I’ve ever seen in my life. Granted, I haven’t seen a lot of them, but these guys were huge. Well, at least in my opinion. Unfortunately, before I could grab the camera, they took off, but they looked a whole lot like this:
Ok, so they didn’t have the blue suit on, but still….. 
Ever In One Of Those Moods?
P(eople) E(ating) T(asty) A(nimals)
Iowa Lawmaker Tells PETA Not to Have a Cow Over Raccoon Kill
On Tuesday, the animal welfare group challenged the Iowa Republican to “pick on someone your own size, not a small animal seeking warmth in a blizzard.”
“It doesn’t give you comfort in your representatives when a member of Congress finds it amusing to boast of shooting a desperately cold animal who is 100 times smaller than he is and whose only misstep was trying to get into a large, warm house,” Jaime Zalac, a PETA spokeswoman, said a written statement provided to FoxNews.com.
“I hope he’s not on any committees that made decisions regarding cruel and unusual punishment,” Zalac added. “Decent people would call animal control for help, not get on Twitter to boast about having a really, really big gun.”
I wonder if Zalac lives in the middle of a large city, where raccoons aren’t common visitors? Obviously, Jaime isn’t aware that raccoons, quite commonly, carry rabies. Perhaps we should toss a raccoon or two into his home, and see how he reacts.
Last week, King tweeted that a “Crazy Raccoon chewing & clawing his way into my house” didn’t make it out alive.
“Desert Eagle 1, Crazy Raccoon 0,” King wrote, revealing the pistol he used to kill the raccoon.
LOL I like this guy!
Yeah, they’re cute little suckers, but ya see those teeth? They can do some serious damage.
King told Fox News on Tuesday that he’d offer PETA more hospitality than the animal.
“That crazy coon ran up against ‘a man’s home is his castle’ and this man’s castle won. But if it had been PETA volunteers outside in the middle of a blizzard, I’d like to think they would have rang the doorbell, instead of trying to claw into the house. And I would have given them shelter for the night and served them bacon and eggs the next morning,” he said in a statement.
Heh. I know some folks that wouldn’t have been so polite. I might, but it would be depend how loony they are at the time. But then, I’m a nice person too.
Good News!
From The Courier, (related to this post):
Arrests made in livestock shootings
Two arrests have been made in connection to a string of livestock shootings which occurred the last week of January, Hardin County Sheriff Sammy Davidson said today.
Drew Hunt, 19, of 90 McKelvey Hollow Road near the east side of Pickwick Lake in Hardin County, and a 17-year-old male juvenile are both charged with four counts of intentional killing of an animal and one count of criminal attempt to intentionally kill an animal, he said.
Hunt, whose bond was tentatively set at $25,000, is scheduled to be arraigned in Hardin County General Sessions Court this afternoon.
Why did these little weasels think killing someone else’s animals was a good idea? Hopefully, the legal age one will be paying for a long time. The juvenile? Well, I think his parents would be wise to rip him a new one! It might be wise for the court to make him, and his buddy, start working off the debt they both owe to the owners of these animals.
