An Ol' Broad's Ramblings
Archive for Critters
A Dog’s Rules for Christmas
1. Be patient with your humans during this time. They may be more stressed than usual, and they will need long, comforting dog leans.
2. Your human may bring home large bags of pretty things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
4. Your humans may bring a large tree into the house and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for them. So here are some things you need to know:
a) Do not lift your leg on the tree.
b) Do not drink water from the container that holds the tree.
c) Mind your tail when you are near the tree.
d) Do not chew on the cord that runs from the hole in the wall to the tree.
e) Even if they smell really good, do not open the packages under the tree.
5. If your kids leave milk and cookies on the table, they are not for you. The will give you your treats as usual.
6. A fat man with a white beard and wearing a red suit may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. IT’S OK – DON’T BITE HIM!
Horse Creek Wildlife Sanctuary via The Courier (print version).
Kitty Corners
Is this what that means? Or was that catty corner? Hmmm…. 
Top: Rowdy, Tazz
Bottom: Mr Spot, Chubbs
Cuz I Think He’s Cute
To say our four legged children (we have four) are all…shall we say, unique, would be an understatement. A couple of them are more unique than the others. Rowdy is one of the most unique. Ok, let’s admit it, he’s just plain strange. 
Honestly, I do think he’s a bit brain damaged, but that’s ok, still love the little pain in the hinder.
In the last couple of days, I’ve found him in some odd places. He like to burrow. I wonder if his paternal unit was some sort of mole? Hmmm… Naturally, me, being me, I had to get a few shots of his normal behavior.
Rowdy and semi normal Tazz.
Invading the clean clothes, instead of the dirty drawers, for a change.
HUMPH! After giving me the evil kitteh eye, he showed me his OTHER end before getting under the clothes as best he could. Goofy critter!
Deer Ropin’
Nothing more than an “urban legend”, but I thought it was funny as hell. 
(Names have been removed to protect the stupid!)
I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.
Cuz I Can
…..and I’m just in one of those kinds of moods.
Snatched from a FB ‘friend’.
Buried Kitteh
<—kitteh tootsies
At Least They’re Not Peacocks!
No, No and NO!
Tell me I did NOT hear peacocks when I was outside a few minutes ago! I HATE THOSE FREAKIN’ BIRDS!
Unfortunately, I also found the kittens I had thought were carried off by coyotes or some such. Sigh… They’re all in a pile, playing in what use to be the flower bed on the side of the house. That puppy seriously needs to be cleaned out, so said kittens will go away? One can only hope!
Minus Two
But let anyone open that front door, for any reason, and they ALL come running. sigh….
My porch has turned into a cat sanctuary, and no one is happy!
Comment Left On My Facebook Status
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they “lick” themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).
Cats, like their nemesis, the dog …. do get dirty and have a … See More variety of odors… from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog’s breath. (Remember… your dog will try to eat anything.)
Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question. So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.
Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you …. you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.
1. First …. dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welder’s gloves.
2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.
3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area beforehand. No … blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.
4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.
5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire… the cat barely notices you anyway.
6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom …. speed is essential. In one single liquid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he’s madder than a wet hornet.
7. As best, you can, wearing welder’s gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.
8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slides down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.
9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.
10. Next, the cat must be dried. No…this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat, reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.
11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.
12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door …. put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.
13. In about 2 hours …. it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.
Thanks Ryan. I needed that!
Proof Of Residency
Savannah Spay/Neuter Voucher Program Will End Monday
The City of Savannah’s Control Animal Population (CAP) program will end effective June 7, 2010, announced Animal Services Director Charlie Nickle. The spay/neuter program began on April 6, 2009 and since that time 484 spay/neuter vouchers have been issued to City of Savannah residents.
The collaborative partnership with Horse Creek Wildlife Sanctuary and Animal Refuge, a privately funded organization, and the City of Savannah has been an effective program in offering the services to Savannah residents. During these hard economic times the program has helped numerous residents who would have otherwise been unable to spay or neuter their dogs and aid in reducing the animal population.
Now, I’ll admit, there is a need to have such a program around here, but I don’t suppose anyone has noticed the increased cat population, have they. And they keep turning up on OUR porch! But the fact they are ending one program, for dogs, and starting another, for dogs, isn’t why I’m posting this, although, it is important info for local folks. No….THIS (with my emphasis added) is the part I’d like to point out:
The City of Savannah program has ended as a result of the recent announcement by Hardin County Government beginning a Canine spay/neuter program open to ALL residents of Hardin County on Friday, June 4, 2010 and each Friday thereafter. Hardin County has advertised that residents should respond to the Hardin County Courthouse, Main Floor, Hardin County Fire Dept. between 12 p.m. noon till 4:00 p.m. Residents must provide a photo ID, proof of County Residency (Driver License, Voter Registration Card, recent utility bill or other acceptable ID) and proof of current rabies immunizations. Residents should call 731-925-9078 if further information is needed.
Hello?!?!?! If people wanting to get their dogs spayed/neutered have to provide PROOF of legal residency, is it really such a stretch to ask for proof of LEGAL residency, on a national level, for even more important things, like say….oh….I dunno……VOTING? Just sayin’!
Oh, and for the love of pete, get your critters FIXED, canine AND feline! Jeeeeez!
HELP!
Just what we needed….MORE cats! sigh….
There were 3 the last time I looked. sigh….
You’ll be happy to know, I put the bigger (4/20/10) kittens in a different box. What the heck are we going to do with all these cats? Hey….SOMEONE out there has to want a cute little kitty, right? Chris???
Another Bill The Leftists Haven’t Read?
Probably. If they had, perhaps, they wouldn’t have their knickers in a twist, shouting racist. I seriously doubt that D’Bama had read it either before spouting off, in his usual ignorant way.
So, as a public service, I am linking the bill here:
The legislature finds that there is a compelling interest in the cooperative enforcement of federal immigration laws throughout all of Arizona. The legislature declares that the intent of this act is to make attrition through enforcement the public policy of all state and local government agencies in Arizona. The provisions of this act are intended to work together to discourage and deter the unlawful entry and presence of aliens and economic activity by persons unlawfully present in the United States.
Now, go read the rest of it. It’s only 17 pages long, as opposed to the thousands of pages the lefties and their ‘leader’ haven’t read yet either.
And Then There Were 3
I went out to give the mama cat some food, and found that one of the kittens is now gone. The little gray and white one isn’t there anymore. It was there this morning when I looked in on them. Ok, looked out the living room window, but you know what I mean. Now, just a few hours later… gone. 
I guess maybe it wasn’t as healthy as it looked? I don’t know. I looked around to see if she had stashed it somewhere close by, but saw no sign. sigh…
I know. I didn’t want them on the porch in the first place, but still.
Yeah….They’re Cute…..
…..now make them go away!
