An Ol’ Broad’s Ramblings
Archive for The Peacock War
It Never Ends!
I’ve said it before! I’ll say it again! I HATE THOSE FREAKIN’ BIRDS! Luckily, I saw him BEFORE he got up on the porch to crap all over the place.
Looks like the ‘neighbor’ got all those great tail feathers before we could send Mr Bird to peacock heaven and strip his hinder. Heh. Just as well.
It’s A Conspiracy!
Minding my own business, warming up my cup of coffee, I glance out the front window, and what do I see???
Well, naturally, me being me, I have to ‘discourage’ that stupid bird from coming up on the porch, so off I go, in my jammies and a pair of flip flops. Jammies, not a problem. Flip flops? Not such a great idea. Did you know that grass is still damp even at 10 in the morning? Well, it is at our house this morning. And it needs to be cut too. The taller the grass, the more wet my jammie bottoms got, and since I never went out to rake the last time it was cut, naturally I get covered in grass clippings. All because of that stupid bird!
Cool tail feathers, eh? heh heh heh I have been very hesitant to let the Mr shoot him, since it’s the “neighbor’s” very last one. Can’t imagine what happened to the other six.
I finally convinced him he didn’t really want to be over here, I think. While I was out playing peacock chaser, I came across this, that looked a whole lot cooler in person than it does in the picture.
Just in case ya can’t tell, that’s a spider web, all covered in dew. While I detest spiders, they sure do make some cool webs!
Oh, and by the way……I hate that freakin’ bird!!!!
Un-FREAKIN’-believable!
Some people are too stupid to live. I’m guessing our “neighbor” is one of them!
Ick and Short person left this morning, after much hard work on Ick’s part. I was sitting here, enjoying the quiet, minding my own business, look up and see……….a bird, crapping on our walkway. Now, normally, this wouldn’t be an issue, birds do it all the time, and it’s just part of nature. HOWEVER, after the infamous Peacock War, I didn’t expect to ever be chasing after THIS again!
Now, after the “neighbor” told us if his birds bothered us, to just shoot them, why on earth would he get another one of those stupid birds?????? Did he forget what he told us? Does he want us to shoot this one too?
Nice tail feathers, but honestly, I’ve got a whole bucket of the things sitting in my garage right now from our previous encounters with those stupid peacocks. I don’t want any more! Not sure what to do with the feathers I’ve got! But I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend all my time chasing after HIS stupid birds and cleaning up after them!
Hmmm….. I wonder if I have the patience, or inclination, to wait till I can gather up a sack load of HIS bird’s crap and present it to him, along with his damn bird’s carcass? Minus the tail feathers, of course! 
I Thought He Was Dead……Too
After the last couple of days, I really could have used a break. But what do I see this morning when I get up? A really stupid bird greets me, pecking at silk flowers, on the front porch.
I stopped taking care of the real flowers when my knee started crapping out, so what better way to have some color? Silk ones! Well, evidently, this bird is too dumb to know the difference.
I keep wondering what Mr Spot would do if he ever actually got a hold of that bird. He sure does have a great time attacking the window though. Obviously, he’s not in attack mode here, but he was. Guess he got tuckered out pretty quick, since he hadn’t had breakfast yet.
Honestly, it was just a tad too nippy for me to go haulin’ out the door, in my jammies and bunny slipper to go chasing him…not to mention my knee isn’t quite up for that kind of joyful activity. 
I Just Can’t Seem To Win
Since our “neighbor” wouldn’t control his excessively pooping peacocks, we decided to help him out a bit. His goats have been another story. He did manage to fix his fence last year, but evidently, not very well, since we’ve had a few visitations in the past couple of weeks.
Now, seriously, I wouldn’t mind them staying out in the weedy areas. Great lawn mowers in a way. But if we don’t run ‘em off, they tend to get into the stuff we spent money on to have planted, and they killed 3 of my magnolia trees. Not to mention numerous other plants and flowers. Which by the way, for which said ‘neighbor’ never did re-emburse us.
I managed to hobble out there, cane and all, and shoo ‘em off. At least for the time being. Did you know that canes don’t work too well on soft ground? The off and on rain from the recent hurricanes and tropical storms did manage to water the grass quite a bit. And that’s the ONLY time this dirt has been soft. Just ask the Mr! 
The stuff is like concrete most of the time.
Oh yeah, back to the goats. I’m thinking a big ol’ goat roast might be in order if Mr “neighbor’ doesn’t fix his fence…….again.
I Hate That Freakin’ Bird!
Honestly, I thought he was dead…..gone to the great peacock world in the sky! Perhaps that was seriously wishful thinking on my part. Well, now he’s up on the roof, crapping all over everything, pecking around, getting on my nerves.
Yes, I know. Shoot him. But in my current lack of sleep condition, do ya really think that would be such a wise move on my part? Naw….didn’t think so either!
I REALLY hate that bird, and all his little birdies that ‘went’ before him! 
I Am NOT A Gardener
sigh…. I have come to the conclusion, even if it looks nice for a couple of weeks, I can kill a plant with little effort.
I spent a lot of time putting some pretty flowers in pots, with flower feed, and sticking ‘em on the front porch. I even watered the little suckers from time to time. I dead headed ‘em, I even talked to ‘em, but lo’ and behold, they bit the dust. Mostly, I can’t even blame the peacocks, at least not for the couple of months or so. Their numbers have been greatly diminished ( 
) and we haven’t seen the last one around in a while. We had NOTHING to do with that!
So, I took an acquaintance’s advice! I stuck silk ones in the wagon!
Hey, if they die, then I KNOW it’s a “conpsicuousy”!
I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the other umpteen billion pots, but I’m pretty sure, fake stuff will be in there future. At least until next year.
Blog “Fast”
It might be surprising to a few folks that I actually turned off my computer yesterday morning, and did not turn it back on till just about 10 minutes ago. I “fasted”…..no computer. Well, I didn’t haven’t major withdrawals, and I did survive. Odd. 
I spent the last 24 hours dealing with some of life’s realities. I am carless. Well, on a temporary basis. Turns out I wasn’t crazy. My little PT really DID have something wrong. And they couldn’t figure this out that last few times I took it in? Sheesh. Well, that something wrong is going to cost about $800 to fix. There may also be other things they have to fix too, but won’t for sure until they get the first problem resolved. The total may end up costing somewhere between $1500 and $2000. The Mr didn’t seem to think it was a good time to buy me that truck, although, the thought has been planted. Heh.
So, I am back. But y’know, I might do a computer “fast” more often. I wouldn’t come over to the kitchen to see Mr Peacock ensconced on the deck.
And if I don’t see him, he isn’t really there, right? 
Peek a Boo…..
……. I SEE you!
Yeah, I see you too! It would be even better if I’d see YOU on a platter! With perhaps a sprig or two of parsley!
The Mr and I discussed, again, putting Mr Peacock out of my misery, but decided it’s too flippin’ hot to dig a hole. I’ve no doubt the evil fowl will make future appearance, so the opportunity is not lost to relieve feckless neighbor of his very LAST invader!
Will He Never Die?
You’d expect if someone was eliminating your friends, you’d get the idea that you weren’t wanted in the neighborhood, right? Well, not this stupid bird. We saw him out front in the yard, and the Mr, who has many things to do this morning before it gets REALLY hot (it’s only 89 right now at 10:30), decided to just run him off. Well, he did leave for a bit. Then I notice movement, and tada! There he is, making himself all cozy on the deck, hanging out in the shade of the house.
Well, I suppose I could go out there and shoot him myself, but….y’know, since he’s the last one….what would I have to complain about? Seriously, think about it. If I didn’t have that stupid bird, annoying the hell outta me, everything around here would be just peachy. So, I’m wondering, since it’s just him, and he doesn’t seem to want to get into my potted plants, or garden bed, should we really put him out of my misery? Ok, granted, he does crap on the deck, but we need to have some work done on it anyway. Actually, I’d LOVE to turn the upper part into a sun room. Heh. We’re still discussing that possibility. Even screening it in is an option…you know, with a ceiling fan going and all that.
Anyways, Mr Peacock has a reprieve…..for the moment. I might not be in such a generous mood tomorrow!
Morning Visitor….In The Afternoon?
Yes, my overly amorous evil fowl dropped by for a visit. He usually shows up in the morning, while I’m trying to get both eyes open with a large pot of coffee, dressed in jammies, and in NO mood to deal with the feathered invader.
I noticed a shadow outside the kitchen window. I had the shade pulled down to cut the heat from the sun coming through the glass. Yes, boys and girls, that ol’ sun produced……KITCHEN WARMING!
I thought it was probably a leaf blowing, until I saw those “feet”. sigh… Mr Spot evidently had to check out the action as well.
By the time I got my shoes on to discuss the matter with Mr Peacock, he was heading back towards home. Oh well, at least I got a few weeds pulled while keeping an eye out for his return.
And A Good Morning To You Too!
There’s nothing like coming in to sit quietly at the computer, drink your coffee, look up and see……
Yep, Mr Peacock is back! Playing peeking Tom! sigh….
Oddly enough, he’s all by his lonesome. Wonder what happened to the rest of his pals?
Reckon someone else took out his last girlfriend, cuz she sure isn’t here….behind the shed……a few feet under. 
I’ve been up since about 6:30 and he’s been my constant companion. Lucky me. sigh… Then he starts shaking his hind end at me, dancing all around. Tacky bird. You’re not my type!
The Mr and I have discussed this, and at this point in time, since he’s not doing any damage, well, other than crapping on the deck, we’re going to leave him be. I think there’s something wrong with his left foot too. He seems to be favoring that one a bit.
So, we started out with seven of the evil fowl, and are now down to only one invading our space. Honestly, if we weren’t heading out on a road trip after church this afternoon, he just MIGHT join his brethren in the great Peacock “beyond”. Heh.
I Was Too Slow
The Mr, Jr and I heard a seriously LOUD bird call this morning. I was sitting here, where I normally do in the morning, drinking my coffee, minding my own business. Jr and the Mr were in the office, doing what they do. It was a “Holy crap! What the hell was that?” moment.
We all go flying out the front door, looking around. Then I happened to look up. What do I see? Well, that stupid male with long feathers! I wasn’t fast enough to get a shot (camera) of him, and we decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to shoot him up there. If the Mr misses, we have holes in our roof, OR, someone on the road behind us gets hurt. NEITHER of which is a good idea!
Wouldn’t you think that if your mate was worm food, you’d try to avoid the place that made her such? Not this stupid bird!
Wonder what happened to his other girlfriend? Hmmmm……
ACK!
Ever since this morning’s “incident“, this dadburn song has been running through my head!
MAKE IT STOP!!
I HATE THOSE *^$% BIRDS!
This is not how I wanted to start my morning. Cats are fed, the coffee is made, and I’m perusing the news. I look up to find my deck has become a ‘love nest’ for freakin’ peacocks! NOT my idea of major entertainment, lemme tell ya!
No, I didn’t catch ‘em in the “act”. This is a family friendly site after all!
So, after numerous, “Get the hell out of of here you *&#^)@#* birds!” and dragging Mr Spot back in the door, it was peaceful……for a while.
I hear the Mr coming into the living room. “That peacock just signed her own death warrant!”
Let’s face it, we have been through hell with those evil fowl! It’s not just the monetary loss, it’s also the mess we are constantly have to clean up, thanks to their crapping all over the place.
This is just one of the MINOR problems we’ve had:
Trust me! You do NOT want to piss off the MR first thing in the morning!
