An Ol' Broad's Ramblings
Archive for The Peacock War
I Was Too Slow
The Mr, Jr and I heard a seriously LOUD bird call this morning. I was sitting here, where I normally do in the morning, drinking my coffee, minding my own business. Jr and the Mr were in the office, doing what they do. It was a “Holy crap! What the hell was that?” moment.
We all go flying out the front door, looking around. Then I happened to look up. What do I see? Well, that stupid male with long feathers! I wasn’t fast enough to get a shot (camera) of him, and we decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to shoot him up there. If the Mr misses, we have holes in our roof, OR, someone on the road behind us gets hurt. NEITHER of which is a good idea!
Wouldn’t you think that if your mate was worm food, you’d try to avoid the place that made her such? Not this stupid bird!
Wonder what happened to his other girlfriend? Hmmmm……
ACK!
Ever since this morning’s “incident“, this dadburn song has been running through my head!
MAKE IT STOP!!
I HATE THOSE *^$% BIRDS!
This is not how I wanted to start my morning. Cats are fed, the coffee is made, and I’m perusing the news. I look up to find my deck has become a ‘love nest’ for freakin’ peacocks! NOT my idea of major entertainment, lemme tell ya!
No, I didn’t catch ‘em in the “act”. This is a family friendly site after all!
So, after numerous, “Get the hell out of of here you *&#^)@#* birds!” and dragging Mr Spot back in the door, it was peaceful……for a while.
I hear the Mr coming into the living room. “That peacock just signed her own death warrant!”
Let’s face it, we have been through hell with those evil fowl! It’s not just the monetary loss, it’s also the mess we are constantly have to clean up, thanks to their crapping all over the place.
This is just one of the MINOR problems we’ve had:
Trust me! You do NOT want to piss off the MR first thing in the morning!
I HATE Those Freakin’ Birds!
“Ya know, it’s really hard work getting chased all morning. Time for a siesta!”
This is NOT How I Wanted to Start My Day!
I hate those freakin’ birds!!!! But ya wanna know what’s so great??? Heh. Out of seven, there are only two of the poop producers left!
Sadly, though, that means I/we still have to deal with those two.
Y’know, I’m just not up to chasing the evil fowl, or even shooting them off the deck this morning. Maybe it’ll rain soon……..and lightening will strike ‘em?
*snicker*
Word has it that one of my evil fowl foes has bit the big one, and we had nothing to do with it! (See the ongoing saga of the Peacock War.)
Evidently, said feathered “friend” became a car bomb. Now, before Homeland Security gets its knickers in a twist, it wasn’t a LITERAL bomb. My favorite neighbor, as per his norm, doesn’t seem to mind that his animals get lose and are in danger. This particular critter exploded. The car is just fine.
Sorry.
No…really. Shame on me.
Ack!
Ya know, there are some things I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing.
We have been invaded by the evil fowl again, and while I was mumbling under my breath about how much I hate those damn birds, I happened to glance up and see……..Peacock love!
This is not what I would have wished for a Sunday morning. Well, any morning actually. Wasn’t it bad enough I found a dead female cardinal on the front porch. No evidence of what killed her, but dead all the same. NO, I have to be graced with those stupid birds in a randy frame of mind.
The Mr, “How was it?”
Me, “Fast, thank goodness!”
Actually, it was so fast, I couldn’t even grab the camera that was sitting right next to me before it was all over.
Oh, PLEASE Lord, do NOT expose me to such visions again!
I HATE Those Freakin’ Birds!
After several months of relative peace, and no sign of the evil fowl, this morning, they made their appearance!
Yes, they are back. Only four of them though. Gee, I wonder what happened to the other two? Heh heh heh
Mental image: Short, fat ol’ woman running after evil birds in jammies. Blech!
I managed to get them into the woods, and they looked like they were headed home. Nope! No such luck! Then along comes our neighbor’s dog, Ugly. I love that dog! 
 He got one treed, and the others took off in short order. I reckon he remembers how tasty their brothers were last Dec.
Too Stupid to Live!
Yep, it doesn’t seem to matter what we do, those damn birds are bound and determined to make my life a living hell!
We’re trying finish getting packed, and the car loaded up so we can head out, and these evil fowl must make an appearance. It seems there is one of the females is missing. No, not the two the Mr dispatched, another one. There were only four twanging my last nerve this morning. I wonder if someone else has gotten sick of their consistent destruction, or Mr Red Truck let them get out in the road. Not the first time he’s done something like that. Anyone who intentionally leaves his gate open and allow HORSES to roam around on the highway, has serious issues. We did the deceased duo a favor!
Sssshhhhhhh!
Don’t tell anyone! Just in case you were wondering what happened to previously mentioned deceased foul fowl, the last time we saw, the evidence was being munched by the neighboring canines.
Heh.
Feather Anyone?
Two Down, Five to Go!
There’s nothing more disconcerting that to look up from the trusty laptop to see someone staring at you. When that ‘someone’ is an EVIL bird, you thought you got rid of, it’s down right annoying.
And I sure as hell don’t much care for them shaking their asses at me either!
Well, there are now two less of the foul fowls! Heh. Mr. Ol’ Broad took Mr. Red Truck at his word!
Ok, yeah, I feel kind of bad, but then again, HELL no I don’t! They have been making my life a living hell since we moved in this place. I’m trying to convince the Mr. to clean them. Christmas dinner and all that! I mean, really, when you shoot something, you’re suppose to eat it, right? Isn’t that why ya hunt? Ok, this wasn’t exactly a hunt. Birds too stupid to run away when there are loud bangs (which wasn’t as loud as I expected) deserve to be shot. Pfft!
And THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is what two 
 peacock carcasses looks like!
Kath Got Her Wish
A friend and commenter on this blog was disappointed there were no more peacock sightings. Well woman, they’re back! The war is not over!
While on the phone to Mr Ol’ Broad, Jr yells…..’THEY’RE BACK!” Being the dense sort that I am, I had to ask who’s back. Her words…..”THOSE DAMN PEACOCKS!” Tsk tsk….language! But I know the feeling all too well. After a blissful couple of months or so, the evil fowl have made a reappearance.
Ya know, it’s kind of nippy out there this morning, but what do I do? I go chasing after them, around the corner, back of the house, up on the deck.
I hate those damn birds!
Frost on the Punkin’
Ok, so there isn’t a pumpkin within my sight, but there is definitely frost! And the fog is rolling in! Dang, it looks just like……FALL! You know, with the trees all multi-colored and such.
According to my iGoogle weather thingy, it’s 26 degrees four miles down the road. I guess it must be somewhere around that here too. A might nippy.
I just realized…..it’s been about 3 weeks since I’ve seen those evil birds! Hmmm…. wonder if they are sitting in someone’s freezer right now, just waiting to be Thanksgiving dinner? Heavens knows, I sure haven’t gotten a check from the old guy to replace or repair the damage the dadburn critters did around here. Maybe he figures as long as I don’t sic any more lawyers on him, all is well? Suits me fine!
Tomorrow Jr and I will be setting out…..again….heading to Wisconsin for the week. Do I need a heavy coat? Or will my jean jacket do just fine? I don’t know what I did with my sweaters. I know I’ve got some around here somewhere. Even a hoodie or two, I’m sure. Hmmmm…..might have to go shopping. 
Welcome Vistors
Well, at least for the moment. No doubt, they’ll do something to piss me off too.
Ya can’t see ‘em too well, but he’s got antlers.
NO Jiro, you can’t shoot him…..yet.
Reckon this is the little woman, and the young’uns. There were five of them in all.
Yes, I know, the pictures are fuzzy. Gimme a break! It’s pouring down rain out there. I prefer my showers on the warmer side, and sans clothing.
Hmm….they’re almost the same color as the dirt.
